Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
