He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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