just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
