Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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