he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
