I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
