You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
