Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
