so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
