Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
