Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
