I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize