I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
