I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
