I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
In America we eat man semen.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
