Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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