She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
