even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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