Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
