Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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