I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
