He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
