i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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