So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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