It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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