we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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