Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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