u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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