she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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