Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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