Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
