There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
