I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
