does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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