I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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