you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I deserve this hangover.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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