The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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