I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize