The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize