I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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