the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
