I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
