i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
His nipple licking is glorious
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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