Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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