I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
then he tried to convert me to islam
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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