her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
