Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
