I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
