I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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