So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
