Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize