i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
