If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
