i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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