well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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