He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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