Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she woke up with a sticky ear
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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