I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
