we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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