we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
