if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
