Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
