I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
