So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
