tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
