fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
