first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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